


Us Again

by 1f_this_be_madness



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Awesome Frigga (Marvel), BAMF Carol Danvers, BAMF Sif (Marvel), Banter, Battle, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Canonical Character Death, Carol Danvers is not amused, Confusing, Epic Friendship, Feelings Realization, Fix-It of Sorts, Flirting, Friendship, Gen, Gross, Heavy Angst, Helheimr | Hel (Realm), Hurt Loki (Marvel), In the sense that Loki realizes he has feelings wow, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Magic, Minor Loki/Sif (Marvel), Mystery, Niflheimr | Niflheim (Norse Religion & Lore), Not Canon Compliant, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Parent Frigga (Marvel), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reconciliation, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Sentimental, Serious Injuries, Shapeshifter Loki (Marvel), Sif is so done with Loki's shit, Svartálfaheimr | Svartalfheim, Talking, Temporary Character Death, Thanos (Marvel) Dies, The Nine Realms, Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Timeline Shenanigans, Timeline What Timeline, Trauma, Tricksters, Álfheimr | Alfheim
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23380279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1f_this_be_madness/pseuds/1f_this_be_madness
Summary: On the Asgardians' ship hurtling towards Earth, Thanos stood and took the Tesseract as he took life in one fell swoop.But Thor does not believe that Loki can die. Even after all others, he can't. No matter how many times he had seen his brother "die" and mourned. This time he cannot possibly be dead.And to prove that, this time, Thor refuses to leave him behind.(Or, what is done subsequent to Loki's death inInfinity War.)
Relationships: Carol Danvers & Nick Fury, Death & Loki (Marvel), Fandral & Loki, Heimdall & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Avengers Team, Loki & Sif & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Sif (Marvel), Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Volstagg
Comments: 30
Kudos: 76





	1. Chapter 1

_"I assure you, brother, the sun will shine on us again."_

_"You'll never be rid of me."_

Loki, body crumpled on the floor, stretches unmoving on the Asgardians' ship, their last chance for life and safety amongst the stars, en route to Earth. He lies alone, amongst the bodies, neck snapped, dead for good.

And Thor cannot properly mourn him.

He holds his brother's inert body, head bloody, bowed against the side of Loki's torso, weeping. Forced by Thanos to wear that same style of gag he had snapped around Loki's cheeks and chin to cover his lips before returning to Asgard where his brother would be imprisoned, seemingly so long ago. Loki had changed so much in the span of only six or so Midgardian years. 

Yet still the god of mischief surely has tricks, and so Thor chokes and remains after Thanos goes, after Hulk and Valkyrie flee because he makes them; Hulk turning into Banner again and Thor refusing to go with them: "C'mon, Thor," Banner pleads. 

"NO! No, I'm not letting you out of my sight this time, Loki. Do you hear me, brother? I know you are not dead. You cannot be dead." His strident tone chokes and lowers nigh inaudible as he trembles, as the ship begins to crack, Thanos and his toadies prepare to disable it and send all its occupants to float forever in space; an airborne masoleum, a floating grave. 

"I need you, brother. No one else is left."

No one of Asgard, save for Valkyrie, who wraps her body around Bruce's as he screams in terror. "Thor, come on! We've got to go!"

"Come, your majesty, there's no time," the last of the Valkyrie grits, and Thor whips his head up, staring directly into her eyes. She sees nothing but his brokenness and choice to stay; and so she carries Bruce, hauling his stricken body into her arms. 

"Let's go."

"No! We can't leave him! Thor--!"

"I am sorry, Banner," Thor is heard to rumble, maybe only heard by himself, alone as he presses his face back into Loki's side. "Forgive me."

Valkyrie, staring back, knows without words what he is doing and why he does it. And for that Thor finds in the tiniest piece of his shattered heart, that he is grateful to her. She is of Asgard, and she shall fight. She and Sif, wherever his fellow warrior now is. Far from Asgard and Midgard and Jotunheim; he knows not if she went to Niflheim or Muspelheim--from whence Surtur came; Alfheim or even Helheim, to fight the darkest monsters. No one had been to Vanaheim since his mother, and none had seen or known where last Sif travelled, but she is the best warrior anywhere, on any world. She will be safe. 

And there is he, Thor, of course. But he is not here, not really. He cannot go on--not without Loki. Not without Heimdall's all-seeing eyes, his strong and loving and forever steadfast heart. Gone, all gone; pierced by Thanos. Thor must stay with him, must honor him. 

He must honor them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In these uncertain times I am writing of uncertainty, and I love these brothers so much. There will be better things, I promise. Just as I hope for in our world. Stay safe everyone!
> 
> This can be read standalone or as a sequel to my work entitled "Sun Shall Shine". I hope you'll enjoy it even as it hurts :'{
> 
> Comments appreciated <3


	2. Chapter 2

A seemingly-long while later, Thor rolls himself over his brother, salt tracks making his features gritty and sticky at once from both tears and blood, and he knows he must move everyone into the proper position, finding a way to burn all of them so their souls may all go straight to Valhalla, Heimdall's leading the way. Yet he stops and swallows and sobs again as he thinks that no matter how good Loki had gotten, because of what he had done, he can never be honored like that when dead.

But no, he isn't dead. 

He can't be.

And so Thor, caring naught for how this might work, finds a pod in the ship, what anyone else would call an escape pod, but he sniffles and says "Now Loki, here is the manner in which you can make your strategic getaway. Yes, the...this little pod thing can take you away." Wiping his nose, the Asgardian stoops and gathers his brother into his arms, tenderly as he recalls their father had once done when they were young. 

Loki had fallen asleep during one of Odin's tales of his exploits, and Thor had gathered their armor and the swords they'd been playing with, to take back with Loki as Odin carried him. Settling his brother down and smoothing back his tangled hair, Thor's face crumples as he recalls their mother coming into their bedroom so long ago after Odin carried Loki back. Frigga stooped and kissed Loki's forehead before touching Thor's face and telling him to have a good sleep. "Sweet dreams, my dear boys," she had said to both of them.

"Sweet dreams, Loki," Thor gasps now as he gently situates Loki's limbs after lowering him to the pod floor, and then the ship's power falters and fails again --in earnest this time-- and pieces of metal shear off and break free, emitting terrible shrieking sounds as the ship shakes and judders. A piece of flying flak hits the button to disengage the airlock. He lunges at said airlock button, screaming almost as if in emulation of the alarm--unintentional though it may be, because if he can just get to the door, to punch that button he can close it back up, can recycle and reset air; he can do this for Loki, he can keep his brother safe and send him off to live again--

But the vacuum acts first. Space is merciless, relentless. It sucks Thor free from the ship's wreckage and from the last of his people, their final resting place.... 

Away from Loki, from this final thing he needed, he ached to do for his brother; and as the film of tears begins to freeze in his eyes, a brilliant light blooms like a falling star over the disintegrating spaceship, and all he can hope as he falls away, tumbles into the depths of space, is that flaming star will simultaneously set the ship afire and somehow shake Loki free, that he may go on and live.

Thor cares not now what happens to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments appreciated <3


	3. Chapter 3

Later, much later--space-time really does work in a manner that is strange--strange enough so that, events happen in a non-linear fashion. A hundred years of Earth time equal one year across the universe, and ages after, though only seconds over Earth, a golden aura shimmers round the form of a lithe figure landing in the ruins of the spaceship. Asgardian souls had cried out--so many deaths called, SCREAMED, lights of life flickering and dying out--at the very least as many as the Skrull had, if not more. And at the edge of the galaxy, a flash of gold had preceded the sight of a dark-haired pale humanoid going up against Thanos. The sun would shine on him again, he said; he and his brother--but he was snuffed, yet still somehow has power. And Thanos had gone for the kill.

Seeing that, she knew she had to go.

Mar Vell pales upon seeing the piles of bodies, carnage only mitigated by this being placed in a pod. The one from her vision. She drops to her knees beside his immobile form after stabilizing the ship as best she can and closes her eyes, bringing power to bear. Her gaze grows gold like fire as her hands glow, energy surging through her Kree-human form, and a gentle presence appears, dark and strong, for nothing outlasts this. Mar Vell makes a bow to this new being; even she dare not be curt and thus seem disrespectful. "Lady Death."

"...Carol Danvers." True name of the heroine is uttered like the failing of breath, the last fluttering of wings. "Wish you to regain the soul of Loki Laufeysson of Asgard? If you do, there is a price--much blood is on his hands and head." Death stoops and cradles the long-boned face of the spawn of the Frost Giants. His forever-stubborn chin, of which similar stubbornness now creeps into the stance of this young bright being, glowing with youthful power. Ah, she knows naught.

"A price?" Asks Danvers. "Name it."

"You must let it play out, this Infinity War. And I mean _all._ "

Staring, "No, that doesn't work, I don't run away from any fight." From beside Loki's body Carol protested. 

"From this fight, you must. This has to play out. You cannot interfere."

"Play out as WHAT?!" Carol cried. "I've been, well I'm going to be called!" The bet is almost up, she's sure Fury will beep. _And I saw what happened, what Thanos did here,_ Carol nearly continues, but instead digs out a small piece of plasticine Terran technology from a pocket inside her bodysuit and brandishes it before the mistress of Death. 

The other being remains unmoved. 

"It must play out as planned. There are millions of possibilities, but not one allows for you or Loki to take part, never mind you both. You possess unrivalled power, and he--" a rictus grin crosses the features of Lady Death as she takes Carol's shoulders. "Loki knows too much."

Behind Carol's eyes is a roaring emptiness that makes her stomach lurch and she gasps, retches at the picture Death shows. She cannot disobey that, no matter who has called. _Sorry, Fury._ Spots dance before her eyes as she looks up at Death, on her knees. "I... understand. But the only way to stop Loki...," From what she has heard, that guy was crazy enough to try to bend Chitauri to his will. Literally, true death is probably the only thing that can stop him.

Lady Death still smiles, or perhaps that expression appears due to the structural placement of her bones. She releases Carol and turns, empty eye sockets studying Loki closely. "Leave his next moves up to me." 

Carol nods and stands as the pod breaks away, she pressing the button for its lock and watching as Death kneels and puts a skeletal hand to Loki's chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed an explanation for Captain Marvel not being a part of the fight. I think time works differently enough, that with relativity she had gotten Nick's message and came back, but something caused her not to fight too soon, because of all her power. (In-universe, based on what Thanos has done previously, I figured why not Death?) 
> 
> Hopefully this isn't too much of a deus-ex-machina moment, and I hope it's easy to understand. If not, feel free to let me know :)
> 
> Edit: yes, I know Fury didn't call Carol til the end of IW, but since the timeframe isn't specific, I feel as though she could have been heading back at a different point in (non-linear) time. And here Heimdall's final act was to send out a vision--a distress signal, if you will--in hope for assistance
> 
> Comments appreciated <3


	4. Chapter 4

Carol stood, looking back once. "The rest should be properly buried," she said then, as if Death would not, did not know Her own dominion. After which bony fingers slide shut the pod bay doors and press a button to send the little ship blasting away; explosions rocking and engulfing the larger vessel in silence as away the hero also flies. 

Lady Death focuses on every death that occurs even as her power takes death from this being before her, pulling through every inch of him, everything that makes Loki, his feelings and thoughts and memories...and every bit, every scrap of all those things, pricks and sinks in and takes, gouging and re-knitting into his form, his mind and body and soul, and the son of Jotunn jerks and spasms.

Darkness. 

A paralysing agony is the first sensation that Loki registers. There is the agonizing pain--as if every piece of him is being ripped apart and smashed together again, affixed with molten bonds, long stabbing pains like the electricity that thrums through Thor's hammer -eheh- when he uses that power. Loki longs to laugh, at the ridiculousness, the irony, the downright ABSURDITY--but instead he screams, body bowing, bucking, thrown inexorably upward, fingers popping and clenching as he roars in disgust at his own pain. For who always roars in ridiculous dramatic fashion? A big brutish blond with a knack for smashing and the biggest softest heart in all the realms...and now he, Loki, the cold calculating tricksy one is doing the bloody same.

Pitiful. 

_Whatever I have done to wrong you, brother, I am truly sorry. Loki, stop this madness! ...I guess you were a little bit good after all._

"Thor--" Loki jerks and gasps, or would, if his vocal cords would work; but stabbing into, through his mind now is that horrible moment, where he practically begged....

_I could have done it, Father! For you! For all of us._

_No, Loki._

_Loki, no..._

No, no, nO!

There are more moments. Piling on, bearing down-- a cacophony of words. Memories, feelings. 

_I'll tell Father what you did here today._

_...I didn't do it for him._

Voices: his, and Thor's, and Odin's first-- Loki thrashes, keens as he hears them all, echoing and re-echoing, overlapping, and then

_Am I not your mother?_

If Loki could, if he was the sort to weep, at this-- he knows in his heart of hearts, that if he could go back to one place, it would be far enough to tell Frigga she was his mother, she had been in every way that mattered; she gave him love and taught him to fight, to use magic. She gave him books to read, of adventure and history and power, and they shared time, just they two, when Odin took Thor to some field of battle to regale him with tales of exploits; all stories of brawn and raw power, how he shouted at an enemy leader and then crushed their skull. Where was the intellect? Oh, he had wisdom, of course, that's what everyone said, but why show Thor? Speak of these things to Thor? Why not Loki too? Was he never good enough-- but of course he wasn't.

The blue skin, that horrid day when he had been asked _'what are you?'_

_What does this mean?_

"Wake up, Laufeysson, awake."

"AAUGH!"

_Loki--_

_TELL ME!_

"No,"

A whimper, and his own sentiments crash upon him anew. 

_Your death has come by the son of Odin. I'll see you in Hel, monster! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm a fool._

Loki feels a wrenching final tug on his consciousness, as of Thanos' hand gripping his windpipe once again, snuffing out his very essence. No fake demise, this; he surely must be dying now, for real.

_Did you mourn?_

_We all did!_

Surprisingly now, it is regret that Loki feels. Not regret of having so much left yet to do; no, he regrets what this surely must do to Thor. For his brother shall mourn his death again, as ridiculous as that is. Thor would have been-- and Loki longs to roll his eyes at the thought-- the heart of New Asgard, with the people that were left. And Loki himself would be the brain, of course. Ah, sentiment. But of course that could not happen. It could not and shall never be. They two could not rule, not together. Of course not, they could never be equal.

Not to anyone but each other. 

Loki lets out a cry. He thinks, feels all this and knows somehow it means he is not dead; a painful pressure seizes up his throat and chest and his whole torso rises. 

The son of Asgard and Jotunheim heaves a breath and opens his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If death for Loki was quick yet painful, though he surely must've felt at least a second before -- well, I imagine the possibility of his returning to life would be far from painless. I took the "life flashing before his eyes" idea and ran with it.
> 
> *Words in italics are quotes from various Marvel movies. Thor, Avengers, The Dark World, and Ragnarok
> 
> Comments appreciated <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for possible triggering descriptions of pain and Loki's strangulation by Thanos below

Loki is up and crouching, fingers splayed out, body shaking. Sweat congeals at the edges of his hair, beading on and streaming in little rivulets down his forehead as he scrabbles for his knife, which is the length of a short sword. Hopes it is still here, and yes, there. It's in its usual place, hidden back. His fingers feel stiff and cold and do not quite work as he attempts to bend them, to grab it; he feels a bit like a puppet with only half its strings. 

"What 's this?" He hisses, slurs. Whipping his head round, immediately growing dizzy, dropping heavily to one knee.. "Urgh--" the mischief deity feels a second presence but sees nothing at first; which is irksome. He is the trickster, he does not get tricked. Not but by Thor the once, and that crafty human redhead... Loki stiffly stands up, focuses on the present. Colors are slowly brightening for him now, but he still sways a little as he turns. "What've you done t' me? I am--"

"You are Loki of Asgard and Jotunheim, and you were once burdened with glorious purpose, as you saw it," a gentle voice says, stepping into the soft light of the pod and into his view wearing a soft smile. All goes out of Loki's head except a single word.

"M-Mother?"

In the appearance of Frigga the Mistress of Death stands, chuckling lightly. She had been able to gather the essence of Frigga into herself, as is possible with souls of the dead, and sees all of the potential in this being, Loki, from his mother's perspective. "Even the god of tricks sees in me what he wishes to see." She steps closer to him and reaches up, cupping his cheek in one hand, stroking it. "Loki," she speaks with all the softness and warmth of a motherly heart, and watches his eyes close, feels his shiver of love and sorrow and pleasure and pain, and then she must add "But Life, and Death, are bound in both Reality and Illusion. That is why you balanced so well for so long." Her eyes, still gazing up at him, turn to black and empty sockets, and her hair thins and blows in a non-existent breeze. Loki freezes, trying to jerk away, to conjure magic and cast, banish this horrible vision out of his sight, but he cannot. She sighs at him in his distress. "So many are afraid," she says. "You think, and say, I steal your souls, but that is untrue. I am prepared to give your soul another chance, though you have feigned me before." Loki flinches as Death's eyes narrow, or would if Her sockets still bore eyes within. "Impressive," she murmurs. "Few others have been able to foil me once, let alone twice. But now...," She strides back and forth in front of him, turning abruptly to point. Her voice grows strident, and there is not an ounce of Frigga left. "Now, Odin's child, Frigga's son, a bargain has been struck for your life."

"...What," Loki licks his lips and stretches his arms out low, whipping his head back and forth in an incredulous shake. His words are almost inaudible. "Who would do this? Was it Thor?" He closes his eyes with a sigh, shoulders slumping, long fingers rising to pinch the bridge of his nose. He is certain of who, what stands before him, and groans "...did my idiot brother bargain his own life so that you might release me?" When there is no immediate answer, the god of mischief opens his eyes again. Death stares at him, head cocked. No clear expression of emotion upon the face. "Heh," Loki smiles, shows his teeth with mirth, but it doesn't reach his eyes and slowly fades away. "You are messing with me, yes? This is part of what you do." It's a test, of course, he thinks, but "Is it true?" A manic light gleams in his eyes as Loki grits his teeth and thinks of losing Thor, of what his brother has already lost from this. No. Lunging forward, not caring whether or not this choice is mad, Loki grabs the front of Death's garment and shakes. "Is it?" He spits at her. "IS IT?!"

Death stands, stares, silent and unperturbed by this sweaty, shouting, wild-eyed being so nearly confined within Her realm, and yet, still so rash.

So incredibly rash.

Loki bares still-gritted teeth as his shoulders shudder and heave, sweat collecting under his armor between the blades, and on the side of his neck--he relinquishes hold with one hand and lifts his fingers, surprised. The place where his vertebrae had been snapped contains a lump, a bulge beneath his skin. His eyes bulge and his stomach turns from pain as he groans, going weak in the knees.

"What is this? What've you done to me?" He asks again, cupping his own skin with both hands now, having relinquished his hold on Death and stepped away.

"I have taken away my Dominion," the Mistress of Death speaks evenly. "I have returned you to Life, but with a reminder. Death is not so easy to thwart or to forget. Let alone to divert. Remember this, Loki-- and know that I now shall send you away from Terra, and Titan, and from this Infinity War." Death shoots out a hand and grips the Asgardian's face with frigid, unyielding fingers. Loki gasps. "You may not remain, else your demise shall re-assert itself. Your neck will break and no more will be your magic. It must be less whereto you now go, as well."

"But why," Loki cries, some of his twinkle returning. Niggling he can do. "If you are truly so powerfu--ack!" 

Death takes his face tighter in her hand and all goes white for Loki. He feels the same agony and helplessness he felt in Thanos' grip, but on a far mightier scale. The enormity of death, true death, hits the mischief god like a sucker punch, as did Thor's hammer resting upon his chest, his lightning striking through Loki's body. Death has a dominion it has chosen to retract, and for that, no matter what reason behind it, he knows he should be grateful.

"Go," its Mistress speaks. 

Something of her words, her power, sends Loki in his pod out and spinning through the Cosmos and to strange ground.

Right into the center of a battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've used my own imagination to explain what Death looked like here. I believe she would have wanted to put Loki at ease initially. Also the MCU needs and deserves more Frigga!
> 
> And ooh now he's in a battle, with whom/what/where could it be?
> 
> Comments appreciated <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki in a battle
> 
> WARNING for some descriptions of gore below

A crash. Fiery descent into bright, bright light, a bloodcurdling yell and shattering of glass and metal and whatever else his pod is made of, its landing in grass and promptly making a crushed bit of hill, which ends up as slight cover, precedes Loki flipping, crawling, and rolling out of the wreckage, peering round the pieces of the pod, breath heaving. His ears catch the clash of metal and resounding screams, and suddenly limbs are catapulting into him and over him, hands grasp his shoulders and throw his body headlong, and a length of frigid steel is placed against his neck as his body ceases moving and he freezes with weight pinning him down.

A familiar snarl assaults the mischief god's ears.

"Loki! Give me one good reason I oughtn't gut you right here and then mount your head on a pike."

"It's--good to see you, Lady Sif," Loki's throat clicks as he speaks, trying to swallow and smile into the intent and murderous blue gaze above him. "You are as lovely and terrifying as ever. Aah!" A BOOM precedes a fireball meeting something shot from a cannon, and flaming debris rains down, but Sif automatically lifts her shield, looking as though made from oxhide, over her head and remains on top of Loki, knees braced on either side of his body and face quite close to his. "It really is so good to see you," he whispers, voice almost breaking, and Sif squints more closely at him, her gaze growing slightly concerned. 

"What has happened since I've been gone?" And then suspicion returns as with an aspect of mounting rage: "What did you do?"

Without great presence of mind, perhaps, Loki scoffs at her, intending to pull his head back, hissing as his neck twinges with pain. "Ah, now why is it a certainty to you that I did something, Sif?"

"Hmm, let me think," she speaks caustically and whirls, taking her sword from his throat and stabbing a being lunging at her with spear extended. Gore spatters across the length of her weapon, her face, chest, and hair, along with the portion of Loki that is exposed and visible. "Does what you had Hodur do to Baldur ring any bells at all?"

Loki coughs, spits out hair and blood, trying not to be sick. "Ugh, that's disgusting. Come on, the way my mother fawned over Baldur, it was ridiculous. And infuriating."

"Hodur STABBED him because of your meddling! He never got over it, either! Could never walk past mistletoe--"

"Oh for Ymir's sake," Loki spat, rolling his eyes. "Such dramatics. He never saw the mistletoe anyhow! He's blind!"

"And Tyr is now one-handed due to your misbegotten libido!" Sif snaps.

"My--" mildly affronted, Loki lunges upright, and at the sight of another rushing Sif from behind, leaves an impression of himself in her grasp and appears in the face of the creature, knees on its shoulders, knife in its throat. Curls his lip as he stabs and then jerks the blade free, filling his lungs with air before spinning and stabbing another foe. Tipping his head, ebony hair flying, "I have made choices," Loki grunts, ripping his weapon out of flesh and wiping it down his leather jerkin before unsheathing his second knife, flipping them both end over end before creating a duo of doubles and pointing with his knives whereto they must go. 

He stands still as Sif rises slowly, expression wary. "... You've changed," she says.

Loki smacks his lips together and smiles, ducking his chin, hair flying across his face in a wind. "Well, yes, of course. That tends to happen," he says.

Sif rolls her eyes. "Not to you," she lifts her sword and plunges it into the stomach of an enemy. "I mean yes, you change every moment, but never for anyone else's sake." Cutting her eyes at the mischief god she goes into a forward roll and slices legs. "Have I gone mad thinking something has changed in you for good?" She cocks her head, wiping her face and leaving smears of blood. "What was it?"

"Heh." Loki chuckles yet his smile is sorrowful and does not reach his eyes. In his mind he hears Thor say again in a gentle rumble: _I guess you were a little bit good after all, brother. Thank you. If you were here, I might even give you a hug._ Yet Loki is not there now. "...It appears so, doesn't it?" He asks Sif. "I would dearly love to tell you all about it and myself, but now--"

"Duty calls," says the warrior. "And it's my duty to send all these horrific creatures back to Hel. Are you in?"

 _Captain,_ something, another voice speaks in Loki's head. One from an earthly battle years ago. _...it would be my genuine pleasure._

What? Loki squeezes his eyes shut, shakes his head, tries to clear his mind. He'll need to figure that out, but later. Now Sif is staring at him with worry, and he can tell she is guarded enough against him to have few if any qualms about dispatching him here. Sif is the only one of Asgard who would weigh all alternatives and kill him without a second thought if necessary. That is why he has always trusted her. She is what in his secret heart he longs to be-- no blind obedience has she to the crown. If he did wrong, she would kill him, or leave him after ensuring that he would be killed. 

Loki cannot fool Sif with his illusions. Not as he could do to Thor, for they two had a modicum of trust. He misses Thor, suddenly, and sighs inwardly at the sentiment; for his brother misses him as well, surely, and will doubtless do something incredibly idiotic as a result. So to keep himself grounded in the present and a place unknown, with a companion that bears him no trust, Loki shoots Sif a feral grin, asking her only

"When do we start?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story of Hodur and Baldur comes from Norse mythology. Baldur was most beloved of all the gods, so much that Frigga asked of everything to swear it would not hurt him. Loki was jealous of her affection and so discovered one thing his mother had neglected to ask: a sprig of mistletoe. He fashioned it into an arrow and tricked Baldur's blind brother, Hodur, into shooting him with the arrow. Jealousy is not a good look on Loki and yet here we are. Also why a blind god was allowed to shoot anything is beyond me. (In addition: the reason we kiss under the mistletoe is because Frigga wanted something good of Baldur to be left, and swore she'd kiss anyone under mistletoe. So they say)
> 
> Tyr's hand was bitten off by Loki's child, Fenris Wolf.
> 
> There is a reason Loki is hearing voices from the past in his head. Who knows what it means...
> 
> I personally believe it takes trust to be able to be fooled by Loki's illusions. Because Thor wouldn't instantly think his brother was trying to trick him, he would trust and not search for the signs of illusion. Whereas Sif has never trusted Loki as far as she can throw him. That is my theory, anyway
> 
> Comments appreciated <3


	7. Chapter 7

_"If a pirate and an angel had a baby..."_

_"His arms are like iron."_

_"Okay, okay, you can stop touching him, come on, he's just a dude!"_

_"No. You are a dude. This right here, this is a MAN."_

Thor hears these comments as he slowly regains consciousness, til all at once he is awake, and feels a sharp pang of disappointment. He did not want to wake. He foresaw nothing else of consequence to do, floating out into space with Loki gone, his people perished; he had not helped them. Thanos came and even without his infinity stones he had conquered them. Though what was it to conquer tired, sad, hungry, heartbroken people? They had run from Hela and followed Heimdall, they ran when Loki brought the giants in the first time, to rule; they had run and stood and fought and they could run no more. Could not stand against Thanos either, so what good was it? What good was Thor's newfound power? He has nothing to fight Thanos with. No hammer. He needs something...more.

"You need a weapon? We can getcha a weapon."

"Ah, yes. Fear not, morons." This he can do, Thor reasons. He can beam and bluster and be a typical Asgardian warrior. He can take back an eye and fly-- with the aid of a rabbit and a tree --to build a weapon that will end Thanos. He can do this, all of this, for his people, for his brother, yet cannot mourn him or them. 

The rabbit even told Thor to take a breather. Wise words from a woodland creature, whatever rabbits are. They're mammals for sure. Beyond that, Thor does not know. "It's not important. I will breathe again once Thanos is dead."

He does not even have Loki to crouch beside him and roll his eyes, that lilting voice to mutter "Such melodrama, brother. Though born of sentiment it is, I am almost impressed." And he'd let out that little laugh. 

Thor's hand comes up to cover his lips, to stop his shakes, remembering Loki's words when first he put on the eye patch. _"It suits you,"_ Loki had spoken with such warmth and richness in his vocal tone, his words held so many meanings. _It suits you after what you lost, it grants you wisdom. I may have wanted to gouge your eye out a few times myself, but nonetheless, it suits. Now you have equalled Father, but with your own such loss, you are better than he. I'm proud of you, Thor. I am proud to call you my brother._

All-too-easily, oh-so-clearly Thor can see Loki's flashing eyes, his chin rising as likely it would if he ever said such things. Such sentiments Thor has no surety on whether or not are true--or even if they were, that Loki would ever voice them. He was ever tricky, ever sly. All Thor wanted is, was for Loki to know how much he loves him....

And for Loki to know, that for his brother, Thor would --and will-- do anything.

Anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor has met the Guardians, if that is at all unclear, and he is not having a very good time. I see this as being some of his thought process during _Infinity War_ when meeting them.
> 
> Comments appreciated <3


	8. Chapter 8

Bright sunlit sinks, filtering gold onto the green ferns and grass, the moss of the ground where Sif has been for these past years, at least three in Earth's time. And this is a realm even lovelier than Earth; blue skies and cool breezes and no noise from machines. The colors are stark yet warm to the eye, and were it not for the battle they'd just come from, swords bloody and cannons blazing, well, even with that if it were possible to win "Tis a lovely world you've landed on, Lady Sif," Loki says. The warrior has bent to the task of chopping and gathering wood for a fire, or what is close to wood here, it's a trifle more spongey in feel. She has led the way to a river where she gathers water into some leather bags hanging from her belt-- "Excuse me for believing those were the heads of your enemies," Loki chuckles, earning himself a glare. She uses her long-handled battle axe as a maul, placing split wood from a tree that had been splintered in this or a previous fight into a pyramid shape with chips in the center. 

"Many battles have adversely affected the landscape of this planet," Sif grunts as she swings her whole body with the makeshift maul, fingers growing splintered as she grips and throws the wood. "It was far lovelier two years ago."

"Who are you fighting?" Loki asks, swooping forward to catch wood and place it on the fire pit she has created "and why?"

"Not for domination over an entire species," Sif snaps, snatching back the wood he had taken. "That's the only reason _you_ have ever fought, correct? Any being who stands in the way of your achievement of ultimate power in order to be king."

She stares him down, still holding her axe, and Loki's laugh is discomfited in this singular instance, for this moment of time. He tucks his chin. "You're right," he speaks slowly, softly, voice a sibilant hiss of air. "Formerly I did so, but only to be Thor's equal. So I--"

"--You went to Thor's new favorite planet and killed hundreds of people," Sif deadpans. "Oh, how could I not see it?" She throws out her arms and says "Congratulations, you're his equal now!"

Though impressed by her sarcastic wit, Loki snarls "What then is it you do here?" Loki waves a hand, cocking his head. "What do you here, Sif? Lust after power? Feel the thrill of battle, the death of every foe you face? What are you trying to prove?" He bares his teeth, eyes twinkling. 

Sif slams her weapon down. "I am fighting with the people of this world to stop invasive forces from other places," she yanks at her axe, the head of which she had buried in the stump of the splintered tree. "When first I came, there appeared to be peace. Now these beings have fashioned armor and fight as though it is the end of days."

"Their Ragnarok," Loki murmurs. "Well it shall be once Thanos gets his hands on all of the stones...." Sif glowers, jabbing her sword into the wood she'd just buried her axe into and leveraging it out before using the friction of said sword jabbed into the pieces of wood, and a flinty rock she now snatches up, to start a fire. 

She bends and blows upon the flames to increase their height and warmth, and Loki's neck twinges as Sif inquires, as if wishing she were not, her voice is slow. "Stones?" She asks. "What stones?" 

"The infinity stones," Loki rattles off: "Power, Time, Mind, Soul, Space, and Reality. They all exist separately, unless he gathered up them all-- where did you take the Aether?" He demands. "After Maleketh wanted it and Thor's woman --Jane-- held its power within her." Loki's wheels are spinning as he rubs his hands together, pacing past Sif. "It needed to be taken off Asgard since we had the Tesseract. Where," Sif's gaze, pointed as it is, reveals something to him. "Ah," Loki speaks with a smile. "I know where you would go, where you'd be sent. It figures. You took it to the Collector, didn't you? No thought to the consequences."

"Really?" Sif lets out a mirthless laugh as she pokes the fire. "No thought of consequences, oh that is rich, coming from you! So rich I may just choke on it!"

Choke on it. In an instant Loki is hanging in the air by his throat, held by an immobile force, feels the tightening of fingers broad as Mjiolnir's shaft, around his windpipe, the loss of air before that final burst of agony. And then nothing, nothing til that pain began anew and he was back, and--

"Loki," that voice is so familiar but seemingly far away. "Loki, come back to me." Only one being could--or would--say that to him, and Loki has no idea where he is.

"... Consequences," he gasps, and feels as if he's falling; flinging out an arm to catch himself, he prepares to hit the hard metallic floor of a ship...

...But no, his fingers close around grass and dirt as smoke from a fire assails his nostrils. Beads of sweat have collected on his brow he notes in some embarrassment as Lady Sif kneels next to him, her eyes not so cold as before. No, now she looks almost... worried. For him. He chokes on a laugh. "Ah, see, here you notice my pain because I am alone. No Thor for you to battle with or for me to play tricks on. There are consequences for actions, eh?" Loki sucks in a seemingly-endless breath through his nose as he sits up, Sif pulling at his arm, gripping his shoulder as he remembers proclaiming himself the saviour of Asgard, when his actions had caused the final destruction of his people and their world. "...I know that well." His face grows still, smile disappears as anguish leaves an ache behind his eyes. "Ah, Sif, I know that all-too-well." 

Loki sniffles and blinks, lifting his gaze to the warrior and looking away from her again almost instantly.

Sif dips her head, lips pressed tightly together. He seems to be feeling grief, almost mourning; if it was anyone else she would be certain of that feeling. But Loki doesn't feel anything as much as he feels wrongs done him, or so she always believed. Yet no matter how often she has wanted to kill this mischievous fool, how furious she grew watching him betray Thor, she respects this apparent grief. His sorrows, whether they are selfish or not, are akin to a warrior's, stoic. He is blinking rapidly but does not cry. Sif also knows that Loki would be scornful of any sort of praise for acting at all like a warrior, and so she stays silent but for the movement of one hand to offer him an apple from her pocket.

An apple. Loki stares at the fruit, its deep color in the lessening light, its round smoothness. He has not seen apples such as this except in Asgard, years ago, when he and Fandral would explore the farthest reaches, or Volstagg would bet how many he could catch in his open mouth if Loki threw them at him. He would even throw them from up in trees at Thor before appearing to eat the fruits himself. Loki feels a pang of longing for Asgard, suddenly; an idiotic one, for that place had never been his home. Not truly. 'Sentiment,' he scoffs inwardly, and takes the apple from Sif's hand with only a minute trembling of fingers. "So," he tries to joke with her, "Are you poisoning me with this apple, then?"

Sif snorts. "If I wanted to kill you, it would be with a knife in your throat as you slept. And then I'd cut your head off, because knowing you, it would somehow regrow."

Loki nods, eyebrows rising. That is a thought process worthy of him, if only to make him uneasy enough not to sleep too sound. "Well done." He claps and lifts the apple with a jaunty bite. Believes he spots the flicker of a smile on Sif's countenance but cannot be certain as she stands and unsheathes her sword again abruptly.

"Supper," she informs her companion brusquely before walking away from firelight and into the foliage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sif gave Loki an apple, which is a nod to the prevalence of them in the Norse mythos. And I'm sure they do make him think of home. Stubborn sod, not accepting that Asgard is home... Silly Loki
> 
> Comments appreciated


End file.
